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Health

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I have this habit of saying ‘I’m sorry’ when I have a real, realistic request that might mildly inconvenience someone. Maybe it’s learned helplessness. Maybe it’s just something to say so I don’t stand there awkwardly as someone helps me do something. I’ve always had this habit, and its always bothered the adults in my life (the ones that are adultier than me, because remember, I am an “adult”) to the point they’ve asked me to stop saying that dreaded phrase.

Stop saying ‘I’m Sorry’

“I’m sorry this tiny issue has inconvenienced you.”

“Sorry I cannot help you because it physically hurts me to do the thing you’re asking of me.”

“Even though I needed this surgery, I’m sorry I must rely on you during my recovery.”

The Response

“Please don’t apologize.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“Your only job is to get better.”

What all that sounds like to my brain

“Be quiet and stop reminding me that you are inconveniencing me.”

“I’d rather not think about all the extra things I need to do because you are unable to do them yourself.”

“You get to lay around doing nothing while I have to pick up after you.”

I’ve been working hard on just staying quiet.

But recently, saying “I’m sorry” has turned into saying “thank you.”

Avoiding apologizing, especially right now in the thick of my healing, has been tough. But I’ve been catching myself, and instead started to thank people instead of apologizing. It seemed like a great alternative. I could still acknowledge what another person had done for me, and they could feel appreciated.

Except, I was told the “thank you” was assumed, and I didn’t need to say it anymore.

I wish this post had a better ended, but I have yet to figure out what words I’m supposed to say here. I want to make myself and the people around me feel a little better about my current situation. I’m hoping to challenge myself with new phrases that will make myself and my caregivers feel good about our interactions.

Do you have any phrases you use to show your thanks to the people around you?

Stay beautiful,
Victoria Leigh

I’m writing this post from my hospital bed. This is the start of my Road to Recovery. My hip surgery has been delayed by another hour, as someone’s still in the operating room. I’m sending positive thoughts their way. It’s going to be a long journey, but I’m ready. I’m equipped with the right items, and even more importantly, a positive support group.

In the meantime, I’ll speak with my surgeon about all that’s going to happen today. There will be three small holes in my hip (a hip arthroscopy), where the doctor will use a small camera to repair my torn labrum. It’s been causing me more pain than I care to actually write about. I heard about all the drugs I’ll get and, how the procedure will work.

There were warnings of what will happen when I wake up later today. Then he told me he’d have to talk about the risks and rewards of the surgery. He started with the rewards. No more pain. No more hip popping. Being able to walk normally again. Then he went to the risks. Infections. Blood clots. Other things that were unlikely, but still exist.

I’m glad he started with the good things.

Already Unproductive

I’m also glad I can have my phone, because I can type this post (with one hand, as the IV is making my other arm uncomfortable). See, I already feel unproductive. Like I’m wasting time by relaxing before surgery. How silly is that? This is my job right now. But I still don’t feel productive enough.

I’m literally browsing Facebook groups for bloggers right now. Not a second can I waste.

It’s going to be a long seven months.

There’s Power in Pain

Now is as good a time as any to delve into my reasoning for starting this blog. I’ve always wanted to have a blog. But now, I have time. Seven months of time, actually. The Road to Recovery for my specific hip surgery is going to be long and tedious. I had to stop driving three weeks ago (I can’t even drive on this road!). During that time, I’ve had to rely on my friends and family to get anywhere (including having my mom drive me to a first date…). I feel a little defeated and mostly useless. I know it’s my personality, mixed with a little depression and a lot of anxiety, that’s making me feel this way. But it’s still tough.

And yet, not once in this process have I  truly believed there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. Sure, I’m twenty-three and need hip surgery. But did I mention why? I injured a muscle while teaching children’s fitness classes. What a cool job, right? Add in great co-workers and an awesome boss, too. I don’t regret that job, not even as I lay here getting ready for surgery. It was a beautiful experience.

Road to Recovery

I’m going to make something beautiful out of this experience, too. ‘Recovery’ is synonymous with ‘Reset,’ in my opinion. I get to reset. I’ve actually been given time to finally invest in my dream. That’s where this blog comes in!

I believe in the power of positivity. I believe there’s something good in every day. Today, I get to have a surgery that will allow me to live a healthy and active life for years to come.

(Sorry for the brief interruption! I had to talk to my anesthesiologist! 😉 )

Anyway, I’m trying to stay in that positive mindset as I head into this whole thing.
Beautiful Outcomes Only.

The Road to Recovery is just beginning. Have you ever traveled down this difficult road, or know of someone who has? How did you add some positivity to your situation. Let me know in the comments below. I’d love to read them after surgery.

Meet you in the recovery room,
Victoria Leigh